I am a nobody in politics. I have no influence through media. I have not seen the world and the world has not seen me. However, it pains me to live in a world of hate. I can’t help myself from wondering why a state in a nation I call home would approve a ban on love. A legal ban on gay marriage will not “protect” love. I may never be married to the one I truly and honestly love but that won’t stop me from loving him. How angered would some people be if the tables were turned on them? Imagine if there was a ban on heterosexual marriages, will you not feel how I feel? That girl/boy that you know is perfect for you is no longer accepted by your home. So many of these people speak of love and righteousness for humanity and yet they lack the perspective to look beyond their own hatred and narrow sense of morality. We are humans. We deserve a certain basket of human rights one of which is the right to love. If you wish to deny someone of love, would you rather them dwell upon your own hatred? I am stern when I say that the war is lost if you choose to shoot at your own with your own hands. Using hate to salvage love is not only ridiculous, it is a testimony to ignorance and the failure to love itself. Because of this hatred towards this “type” of love, there are those who become murderers plagued with their own injustice. Instead of fighting, at least give me enough respect to live as a human. Judge me not of my choice in love for love does not threaten you nor does it discriminate.
this really hit me to my core.
SPOILER ALERT!!
in the latest episode of glee, the closeted character is outed. as a consequence, he attempts suicide.
it’s really hard to express to those who don’t go through this. but really, before you end up killing an innocent person with words, think about it. personally, before coming out, i have endured countless upon countless mean words that have put me on the edge of suicide way too many times. it was my darkest secret that i kept only to myself. in order to make myself “less gay” i even made fun of my “other side” as if it was a funny thing. i hated being gay. i wished every time that i would magically become “normal” and to be accepted for the rest of my life. i even stupidly thought that maybe i could hit my head so hard with something that i would get some weird amnesia to become straight. no matter what, i was constantly struggling with myself. those who love me, my family, my friends, would constantly say the worst things about gay people without knowing that they were just cutting deep into me each time. thus, i want to warn everyone who watched this episode, it is too real. there are people who bully like this as if its right to pick on gay people. but imagine, being in my shoes, fear of having no friends, no family, no understanding. those days when i would want to tighten that belt on my neck or drink wildly to somehow get into an “accident” are too real. and i consider myself a lucky one. some gay people just don’t have the luxury of support. thus my heart goes out to them and i will do anything to prevent this from happening, ever.
(Source: iturnedviolet, via jayyyychow)
oh 9 hour time difference… hahaha. wakey wakey.
he said happy valentines day to me in european time :)
im so lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend. ich liebe dich, and i always will!
loveyousomuchthatiwouldneverletyougotakemeinyourarmsandholdontometightneverstopbelievinginourwonderfullovejustkeepmeinyourheart.
dream. pastel shavings.
from what i’m aware of, marriage isn’t allowed for me in sunny california. i mean.. i was completely fine with it a year ago when i was “straight” but lately, after being struck with love for the first time, i wish it were allowed.. am i asking for too much? before, i wouldn’t dare support gay marriage because even i was plagued with the idea that being gay was bad. it sucks. i didn’t get it. i tried and tried as a kid growing up until now to be that normal boy. i made fun of gay people because all my friends did. it hurt every time knowing that i was only stabbing myself deeper and deeper. i didn’t dare want to embarrass my parents and my brother. sometimes i wished that my family didn’t love me the way that they did because i didn’t deserve it. i felt like i was cheating them. how could i do such a thing to them..
but now, as my family still embraces me despite their previous notions of gay people, i feel more and more inclined to want to commit myself to the one i love. i may or may not see the day that i am happily married, but i can dream right? you can take a lot of things away from a person but not their dreams. chin up.
sometimes i wish i was my dog, mickey. seems to enjoy life all the time :) but hey, who am i to complain, i got raphy oppa to make life all the more worth living.
so my dad attempts to add me as a friend on Facebook… nice try daddy~
i need more friends in san diego….. i feel very… lonerish.
mannnnn. this question is really hard to answer, the only reason being that even i wouldn’t have thought this was possible. yes, i live in the states. yes, he lives in austria. no, i’ve never met him. but you know what? i know what i want. i know that once i got to know him, it wasn’t just his pretty looks and adorable smile that made me love him, it was his personality. yes, cliché as it may be and though i may be naïve to say so since i’ve never really dated before, i can see that is what matters most.
raphy is like that one thing you always dream about and strive for. some people find happiness in cars, vacations, food, clothes, etc. for a long time while i was in the closet, i believed that was going to be my limit for happiness. how badly did i want a boyfriend, i can’t even express. i see my “normal straight” friends getting into relationships while i was left behind because of the fear that my friends would not be my friends if i did. in some cases, that was the case. but it only shows that those weren’t my friends to begin with.
at times, i wish i were in austria to comfort raphy when he feels helpless or sad. it really is difficult. i sometimes want to say “SCREW IT, IM OFF TO AUSTRIA!” if only life were that easy. but the slow tortoise’s route is my plan. along the way, i grow to love raphy more and more. he becomes less of that “boyfriend” but rather more of the “one” that i want to be with until the day i die. until that day, i will be doing my best to see that day. i love you, my raphy.
